Miserable At Best
by fluffyllamas
Summary: Puck runs through memories he had of him and Kurt together before someone else came and stole his heart. Sometimes, things aren't what they seem, and what they are may surprise the simplest of people.
1. Miserable At Best

**A/N: I own nothing. I don't own Puck, Kurt, or Blaine. I do not own Glee, that is for sure. Or Mayday Parade. I did change the pronouns and name to fit the story. If you listen to Miserable at Best, it sets the tone for the story. Rated for the minor swearing.**

Miserable at Best

_Kurt, don't cry, I know  
>You're trying your hardest<br>And the hardest part is letting, go  
>Of the nights we shared<br>Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting  
>But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright<br>And when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but I want it so_

Puck was lying in bed one lonely Friday night and was running the last year by in his head. It was quite honestly the best year in his life. He just wished it would have been enough. He knew he wasn't anything special, he knew that the love of his life would leave him eventually for something better. He just wished that it wouldn't have happened so soon. Puck wanted, no, he longed for more time with him. It just wouldn't happen anymore, and it broke his tattered heart into pieces. Puck was sure he would never love again. A tear danced down Puck's face, and he made no move to make it leave. He knew it needed to escape; it needed to for months now. It was just one of those nights.

_Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
>(I know he's there and)<br>You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
>(while across the room, he stares)<br>I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
>And ask my boy to dance, he'll say yes<em>

It pained Puck to know that Kurt was with someone else on every day of the week. He tried so hard to make each night something special for Kurt. He spent all of his savings, trying to make up for everything he'd done to the poor boy. He had watched as the preppy school boy had transferred to McKinley. He watched as his boy had drifted further and further away from him toward the preppy boy. He wanted to keep Kurt in his arms, but knew that Kurt would leave him some day. It was written in the stars, he had no hope. As soon as the kid, Blaine was his name, had made a move on Kurt, he dumped him like last year's fashion. It broke Puck beyond repair. He couldn't believe that the past year had meant nothing to Kurt. Puck had revealed everything to Kurt. He was painstakingly honest to the boy, and vice versa. He guessed that it didn't really matter.

_Because these words were never easier for me to say  
>Or him to second guess<br>But I guess  
>That I can live without you<br>But without you I'll be miserable at best_

Puck let his memory fall back to one particular memory, making the tears fall faster down his face. Kurt had just gotten back from a shopping trip with Mercedes and had collapsed at Puck's place.

"Noah," he started, "I think it's time that we move on."

Puck looked at his boy sharply. "Move on to what?" he verified.

"Um." Kurt squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

Puck immediately sat next to his boyfriend on his bed. "What is it?" Dread filled his mind at the worst thought. He wouldn't want him anymore. This was that day, he had found someone new.

"Kiss me?" asked Kurt timidly, biting his lip nervously.

Who was Puck to deny his boy of his demand? Puck kissed Kurt softly, not wanting to push his boundaries. He was still trying to convince Kurt, nine months in, that he wasn't in it for sex. He wanted it to work out between them. Kurt kissed him back immediately, deepening the kiss by wrapping his arms around Puck's neck, running his fingers lightly through his mohawk. Puck wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist hesitantly, not sure where he was going with it all. Kurt swept his tongue across Puck's lip softly, making the jock moan softly. He invaded Kurt's mouth almost instantly, taking it as an invite and wasn't rejected. They made out softly for several minutes, before Kurt needed to breathe.

Puck moved down his jawline slowly, soft kisses here, soft nips there, enjoying the sounds coming from Kurt's mouth. He made his way behind Kurt's ear and kissed it. "I love you," he whispered huskily into Kurt's ear. He had wanted to say it many times before, but he never had the right moment. This seemed like the best so far, so he took the plunge. He smiled softly when he felt Kurt's breathing hitch against him. "You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know," he continued in the same tone of voice.

Kurt had looked at Puck with wide, lust blown eyes. "You do?" His voice was small, like he couldn't believe it. Puck wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it. It was impossible not to love the porcelain boy; he just wished he would have shown him that way before now.

"Yeah," replied Puck. "I love you, Kurt Hummel. You can't change that." He kissed him softly on the lips as if to emphasize his point.

Kurt seemed to stop thinking at that point. "I love you too, Noah Puckerman," he whispered.

Tears streamed down Puck's face as he remembered that night. They hadn't done anything special that night, it was the same as any other time they were alone together. They never went past kissing passionately. It just felt like so much more with those three little words. He couldn't ever say them again… He knew that to be true.

_You're all that I hoped I'd find  
>In every single way<br>And everything I could give  
>Is everything you couldn't take<br>Cause nothing feels like home, You're a thousand miles away  
>And the hardest part of living<br>Is just taking breaths to stay_

Kurt went on after that, swearing that Puck would be the only one. He promised him so. Puck was so happy when Kurt said that, it made his heart swell proudly. The boy was _his_; he would never have to share Kurt with anyone. Puck would be his first and last everything. A harsh laugh escaped Puck's lip at that thought. He only wished that was the case. He was so juvenile to think that could have been the case. He wasn't important enough to anyone to be that. He tried that with Quinn, and he failed with that. She wouldn't even claim him after that.

Puck rolled over on his bed and stuffed his face into his pillow, hoping that it would stop his tears. What didn't help was the fact that Kurt's scent still clung faintly too it. How was he supposed to sleep with Kurt still right there? He tried so hard to rid Kurt from his life after he left him for Mr. Preppy. Apparently, his own damn pillow wanted to ruin him too.

'_Cause I know I'm good for something  
>I just haven't found it yet<br>But I need it_

Puck wondered often what Blaine-y boy had that he didn't. Sure, he had money. You would have to have the dough to stay for more than a few weeks at Dalton. He had pretty looks, whereas Puck had the more rugged, badass looks. Blaine could succeed in whatever the hell he wanted to. Puck, he didn't know what he could succeed in. He wasn't able to get out of the shithole called Lima. He was sure that was his biggest downfall. The reason why Kurt left him. He had nowhere to go after high school. He would be stuck working for Burt at the tire and lube store. Puck needed to find a way to leave, a purpose to continue. People were starting to notice that he wasn't himself, that he was depressed. He needed to find a way to forget.

_And this will be the first time in a week  
>That I'll talk to you<br>And I can't speak  
>Been three whole days since I've had sleep<br>'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek  
>And I got the point that I should leave you alone<br>But we both know that I'm not that strong  
>And I miss the lips that made me fly<em>

Puck went to school the next Monday, after not sleeping the entire weekend. He stared at his blank wall all night long, trying to drown out the thoughts in his head. His eyes were still blurry and unfocused from the wall, and he ran right into the man on his mind. "Sorry," he muttered as he walked by.

"Noah! Wait," called Kurt as he was halfway down the hallway. He ran up to him and touched his shoulder gently. "How are you doing?" Concern was plain in his eyes, a fool would have missed it, and Puck wasn't a fool.

"Shouldn't you be with Blaine right now? He's probably waiting for you at the door," sneered Puck half-heartedly.

"I don't care right now about Blaine. I want to know about you," insisted Kurt. His eyes searched for Puck's hazel ones, sad with what he saw in them.

"I am doing just fine, thank you," snapped Puck. "Now, run along to your precious Blaine. I'm sure he wants to see you after the long weekend apart." He tore his eyes away from Kurt's prying ones. He didn't want to have to see the hurt in his eyes. It was already hard enough to hurt by what Kurt did, he didn't want his own guilt on top of that.

"We weren't apart all weekend," said Kurt softly. "And I know you're lying to me, Noah. I just wish you wouldn't. Where did that go?"

A knife shot through Puck's heart at the thought of them together all weekend. It had only been a month and a half. What is Kurt's problem? He got the heart he wanted, so now he's off to catch another? "Yeah, Kurt. Where did it go? I sure as hell don't know where it went. I have to get to class now. Goodbye." Puck shouldered by the smaller boy on his way to class. He ignored everything else Kurt said to him that day. He didn't want to hear it.

When Puck got home, he went right up to his room. It was normal for him anymore. He would spend the rest of his night up there, and he would sulk in his misery. He would replay every single happy memory he had, and ended up crying over most of them. He would never be happy again. If anything, he would be _miserable at best_.


	2. Playing God

**A/N: Once again, I don't own Glee, RIB does… I also don't own Paramore, or Playing God. Hope you enjoy! **

_If God's the game that you're playing  
>Well we must get more acquainted<br>Because it has to be so lonely  
>To be the only one who's holy<br>-Playing God by Paramore_

_Months earlier_

Kurt was walking to his French class when a new face startled him. It was a refreshing feeling to know that there would be new kids there. He could have a new friend. As he was trying to remember the face of this new guy, his greenish hazel eyes connected with Kurt's blueish green ones, making the former boy flush.

"Hi," introduced the curly haired boy. "My name is Blaine." His face was too optimistic, it was very different from Noah's almost always serious expression.

"Kurt, Kurt Hummel," replied Kurt, extending his hand in welcome. "Welcome to this place called McKinley."

"Do I really stand out that much?" Blaine asked, looking down at his outfit.

"No," assured Kurt, smiling. "Well, maybe. I just noticed the new face. New faces aren't all that common here at McKinley."

"Oh," said Blaine. "I was hoping to be inconspicuous."

"Well, you won't be if you keep talking to Kurt," said Puck from behind Blaine.

Kurt's eyes lit up at the sight of his boyfriend. Blaine turned around and saw someone taller and much larger then himself. "Oh. Why is that?" Blaine glanced back at Kurt and saw nothing wrong with the boy.

"Because, my boy here is gay. Not really something you want to get mistaken for here," said Puck shortly. "How are you, babe?" he asked Kurt quietly.

"I'm fine Noah," smiled Kurt. "This is Blaine."

"Blaine," he nodded.

"What if it isn't a mistake?" asked Blaine. "What if it's true?"

"Well," began Puck.

"They will make your life a living hell. Trust me," interrupted Kurt, eyes flashing angrily at the memory.

"Oh." Blaine's eyes seemed to fall to the ground. "What made them stop?" He looked back at Kurt.

"He's got me," said Puck smugly.

Kurt hit Puck softly in the chest, a blush running up his face. "That's not true." He knew the moment he said it that it was a lie. It really had happened that way. Puck had helped with the bullying immensely.

"What do you have to do with this equation at all…?" said Blaine, eyebrow raised skeptically.

"I'm Kurt's boyfriend," said Puck simply. Kurt noticed the shine in his eyes as he said it. It brought a smile to his face. "I am also the biggest badass around, they won't mess with me. And they sure as hell won't mess with my boy." Puck kissed him on the side of Kurt's head to emphasize his point.

"Okay, so maybe it is true," smiled Kurt. He kissed his boyfriend lightly and then turned to Blaine. "Where is your next class? Maybe it's on the way?" Kurt was trying to be nice, but it was really hard to when Puck was right there.

"Um, psychology?" said Blaine looking down at his schedule.

"Great, that's on my way," said Puck smiling. "I'll take you there. I'll see you at lunch, Kurt?"

Kurt nodded and walked into his French class. He was worried for Blaine. He wouldn't admit it to Noah, of course. He knew Noah wouldn't understand. He came out and nobody bothered him. It wasn't the same for Kurt and Blaine. He was worried about what his boyfriend would say to the new kid.

The weeks went by and Kurt got closer to Blaine. He didn't really realize it. The new kid intrigued him. He started to spend less and less time with Puck and more and more time with Blaine. He didn't think that Puck would notice. Sure, he had said 'I love you" but really? Could he love? He wasn't too sure. It took him nine months to say it… And this was month ten.

He was at Puck's one Monday night after getting coffee with Blaine.

"Oh my God, you smell like him!" exclaimed Puck, breaking their kiss.

"Smell like who?" asked Kurt, pulling away slightly.

"The new guy, what was his name," said Puck angrily.

"Blaine?"

"Yes. That was his name. What is your deal with him? Are you cheating on me, Kurt?" Hurt was sheltered in Puck's eyes, and Kurt tried to ignore it. "Are you cheating on me with _him_?"

Kurt started shaking his head. "No. I wouldn't cheat on you, Noah. Why would you think of that?"

"You tell me, Kurt. You tell me. You smell like the damn guy. I don't get back from _coffee_ with Finn smelling like him!" Puck said angrily. He stood up and started to pace. "Kurt, where have you been the last two weeks? I haven't seen you much at all. I would understand if it was 'Cedes. Or Burt. Hell, I'd understand if it was Finn. But no! It's this _Blaine_ kid." He looked at Kurt, frustration and hurt in his eyes.

"Noah, it's nothing but a friend ship. Honestly. I don't know what you're so mad about," exclaimed Kurt, tears of frustration in his eyes.

"What I'm mad about?" exclaimed Puck. "You smell like him! Why do you smell like him? I sure don't smell like Santana after I hang out with her. That I know for sure, and so would you."

"So we hugged goodbye. Big deal!"

"No. A hug would not leave that much of him on you. A hug is brief enough it would have left long before you got here." Puck looked right at Kurt. "What were you doing with him, Kurt?"

"Nothing, Noah. I swear." Kurt was trying to make him see the lie, but it didn't seem to have worked. "I have done nothing outside of friendship with Blaine."

Puck rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. Leave. Right now. I can't stand to look at you right now." Puck walked over to his chair and sat down, not looking at Kurt.

"Noah," began Kurt.

"Now, Kurt. Please," begged Puck.

"Fine. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Maybe then you'll see some sense." With that jab in the heart, Kurt left.

He left without a second glance at his boyfriend. He honestly couldn't believe that Noah was accusing him of such. It wasn't like Noah wasn't getting it behind his back anyway. Kurt tried to rationalize the actions between him and Blaine in his head and coming up short. He honestly didn't think it was wrong until Puck pointed it out… It was just a few harmless kisses. It wasn't that bad, was it?

Kurt was ignored the rest of the week. He tried to ignore Blaine as well, but it failed.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" asked said boy on Friday.

"Nothing, why?" replied Kurt.

"Oh, I haven't seen you talk to Puck for a while," said Blaine.

"Well, I would have to be talked to first to be able to talk to him," snapped Kurt. "I've been trying all damn week. Nothing."

"Well, maybe you 'ought to stay away from Blaine-y boy before I'll talk to you, Kurt," said Puck as he walked by.

"What? He's my friend, Noah. I can't just ignore him like you seem to be able to ignore me," argued Kurt.

"He was never my friend, and you're a fool if you think he's yours too," snapped Puck. "I guess this is the end."

"What? What gives you that assumption?" Kurt saw the pain in Puck's eyes, but ignored it. Blaine wouldn't give him this ultimatum. "Noah?"

"I gave you a week, Kurt. I gave you a damn week to decide who you wanted more. Me, or the posh city boy. I bet you know who won. 'Bye, Kurt. It was nice while it lasted." Puck walked away after that, ignoring Kurt.

"Well, that went well," observed Blaine.

"Yeah, I guess so. I always thought that my first break up would hurt more," mused Kurt.

Blaine shrugged. "Well, at least now, we don't have to hide it."

Kurt nodded.

Months went by before Puck crossed Kurt's mind again. That exchange went over so well. He honestly couldn't believe the amount of tension and hurt rolling off of Puck's shoulders. It hurt Kurt to see it. Things weren't going over so well with Blaine. He was kind of a different person from the inside. He wasn't so genuine as Kurt thought he was. It scared him a bit, to be honest. He wanted his best friend back, but was afraid that that bridge had burned beyond repair.


	3. Brick by Boring Brick

**A/N: Once again, I am not RIB, and I don't own Noah, Kurt, or Blaine. Though, any of them under my tree would be nice ;) I also do not own Paramore or Brick by Boring Brick. Enjoy! **

_But it was a trick  
>And the clock struck twelve<br>Well make sure you house is built brick by boring brick  
>Or the wolf's going to blow it down<br>-Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore_

Puck didn't look back when he walked away from Kurt. He was just going to let him suffer in silence; it was what he deserved after all. It hurt him to hear the hurt in Kurt's voice when he told him that. He sat the rest of the day in fuming silence. He honestly couldn't believe the nerve Kurt had, to come up and talk to him. He skipped Glee Club that day, not even wanting to see him or Blaine-y boy. What he didn't realize he missed that they were gone too.

Puck walked up stairs into his room, like he had for the last few months and stared at the same blank spot on the wall. He allowed his mind to clear, only filled with the mind-numbing buzz of silence. He didn't have to worry about picking up Sarah; she was going home with a friend. His mom wouldn't be home for another few hours, he wouldn't have to problem. He could sit there and mope for hours, without interruptions, that was, until his doorbell rang. He ignored it, but it buzzed again impatiently.

He walked down the stairs and opened the door, ready to snap at the person behind it, but the words caught in his throat. "What?" he managed smoothly. Kurt was standing in front of him, tears streaming down his flushed face. If he looked hard enough, he was sure he could decipher an angry handprint, but he didn't want to believe it.

"Can I, can I come in? Please, Noah?" He tried to keep the tears out of his voice, but failed.

Puck took in his submissive posture with a frown. His head was bowed, and his hands were flat at his sides, fidgeting with his pockets. He nodded, not quite sure how to use his voice at the moment.

"Thank you," Kurt murmured. "I wasn't sure if you would after earlier today."

"It's no biggie. You're still my friend, Kurt. Even if I was pushed to the side." Puck sat him down on the couch and sat next to him hesitantly. "Do you want to talk about this?"

Kurt looked up at him, his eyes full of tears. "Not really, but I have to tell someone."

Puck frowned at the response. "What on earth happened to you, Kurt? You weren't like this, this emotional, when you left me."

A harsh laugh escaped Kurt's lips. "What happened? Blaine. That's what happened." He sniffed softly. "He was nice enough on the outside. When he was still the one who I just wanted to get to know. He isn't that nice though." He leaned into Puck's side, letting his tears soak up in Puck's tee.

Puck's eyes started to tear up at that small bit of information. "What did he do to you?" he demanded, trying not to let his voice crack. "I swear to God, if he hit you," he started, anger seeping into his voice.

"He hit me," admitted Kurt softly, his voice cracking. "He hit me, Noah. I can't believe he hit me." He wormed his way closer to Puck's chest, feeling his strong arm wrap around him.

"Why the hell did he do that?" He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, and halfway succeeded.

"I wouldn't put out for him," he whispered into Puck's chest. "I wouldn't go all the way, so he hit me. Saying that I don't love him if I won't put out."

"Son of a bitch," muttered Puck. "What the hell? What kind of person is he? That is," Puck struggled to find any words to match what was going through his mind. "That is sick." Puck puts his face in Kurt's hair softly, not want to tousle it too much. "What are you going to do about it?" he asked softly.

Kurt shook his head. "I don't know," he murmured. "Just, hold me?" he asked pitifully.

"Anything for you, Kurt," promised Puck. It had never changed for him. It was always Kurt. He pulled the smaller boy onto his lap and held him close. "I'll never let you go," he murmured into his hair. "I promise."

Kurt shuddered in his lap, making tears fall from Puck's eyes. He promised himself that he wouldn't accept him so easily, once Blaine broke his heart, but this was different right? "Kurt, come on. Let's go upstairs. Mom will be home soon, and she won't disturb me up there."

Kurt looked up at him. "Nothing funny?"

Puck looked appalled at the mere suggestion. "Of course not," assured Puck.

Kurt nodded slowly. "Okay. Then we can go. Lead the way, Noah."

"It's not like you don't know where it's at," muttered Puck. He got up and walked to his room anyway, knowing that his friend would follow him. He opened the door and walked in, shutting the door behind Kurt. He turned around at the blue eyed boy's gasp. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

"It's spotless," whispered Kurt in wonder. "It was always clean when I was here, but never this spotless." Kurt looked up at him. "Why?"

Puck fought the flush running up his neck. "No reason, needed a change," he lied with a shrug.

"Okay," conceded Kurt. "Noah, what happened between us?"

Puck looked at him. "Um, what?"

"What happened to us? We were so close, and then… nothing." Kurt looked down at his feet. "I guess I do know the answer to that." He looked up at Puck. "I'm sorry. Really. I am."

"They say hindsight is everything," said Puck. He sat down on his bed, facing his usual wall, and pulled Kurt on top of him. "Look, let's not talk about whatever we were and shit." It hurt too much.

Kurt simply nodded. Puck just stared at the wall, wondering where the hell his Kurt went. He was going to pummel Anderson's ass tomorrow. That much was for sure. That was, if Kurt went. Which, he wasn't sure if he was going to.

"Kurt, do you want to stay here for tonight?" he offered quietly.

"Why?" Kurt looked up at him and sniffed.

"Because, I doubt you want Burt to see you like this, and I am a safe place, you know that," explained Puck.

"There's no need to do that for me, Noah," denied Kurt. "I don't want to impose on you anymore then I already am. It's fine. I'll go home." He sniffed and moved to get up, but Puck tightened his arms around him. "Let me go, Noah."

"Give me one good reason, Kurt," said Puck. "One good reason why I should let you go."

"Because I want to go home and sleep?" asked Kurt.

"You can sleep here. I'll sleep on the couch," offered Puck. "You know my bed is comfortable, more so than yours." Puck shrugged. "I won't touch you, I promise."

Kurt looked up at Puck. "You wouldn't be bothered by it at all? Really? Like nothing ever happened?"

Puck could hear the suspicion in Kurt's voice but ignored it for the most part. "If that's what you want," he agreed. It would be hard for him to do that, but he would do whatever Kurt wanted.

"I don't know what I want anymore," muttered Kurt.

"What was that?" asked Puck.

Kurt looked up at him. "I don't know what I want anymore. My last choice was between you and Blaine, I guess. Blaine is a little bit of a, ah, control freak of control freaks. I thought I was bad," he laughed harshly. "I'm a goddamn kitten."

Puck's eyes go wide at that little bit of information. "What the hell did he do to you?" he murmured in his hair.

"You really don't mind if I stay? I really don't want to face Dad right now." Kurt looked up at Puck, tears haunting his eyes.

"Not at all," confirmed Puck. "Call Burt. Or I'll call Burt. I don't care."

Kurt sniffed. "I'll call Dad. Don't worry about it." At that, his phone rang. He walked across the room to his bag; his face blanched at the ID.

"Who is it?" No response. "Dammit, Kurt, who is it?" A whimper was all he got in response. He walked across the room and picked the phone easily out of his hand. "Hello," he answered quickly.

"Hi. This isn't Kurt," replied the voice on the other end.

"Damn straight it isn't," replied Puck swiftly. "Why are you calling him?"

"Well, he is my boyfriend," sneered Blaine. "Why is he at your house anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Puck snapped. "I wanted to try to mend our friendship, so I invited him over earlier. Problem with that, Pretty Boy?" lied Puck swiftly.

"Yeah, I do. Seeing how he is my boyfriend now, not yours."

"Noah, give me the phone," demanded Kurt quietly. "Please?"

Puck hesitated, but caved in, handing the smaller boy his phone.

"Blaine? Look, I don't want to hear from you right now. Leave me the hell alone, okay? I don't want to hear from you for the next few days. Thank you. Goodbye." Kurt hung up before he could hear a response. He looked up at Puck. "Noah, do you have anywhere else we can go? He'll be pissed I'm with you."

Puck looked at him incredulously. "Somewhere else we can go?" he repeated softly.

Kurt nodded. "He knows where you live, for this reason. You won't be safe here. He'll come after you for stealing me back," he admitted.

Puck fought the urge to let his jaw drop in shock. "Um, yeah. I think so. We have a vacation house a few hours away. We spend a few weeks in the summer and winter over there, don't you remember?"

Kurt nodded immediately. "That's right. He has no idea where that is at. Can we leave now? It will take him a bit to get here from Westerville, but he'll be here quickly."

Puck immediately jumped into action. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll leave Mom a note." He dashed down the stairs and began to write a note to his mom.

_Mom,  
>Sarah is at a friend's house tonight, Ruth? I am taking my truck and going away for a while. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. I will have a friend with me, don't worry about him either. If a person comes here asking for me or Kurt, shoo him away. He's not a nice person, reminds me of dad. Don't tell him where we've gone. Please? Tell Sarah I love her.<br>Puck_

"Is she really going to fall for that?" asked Kurt behind him.

Puck let out a rough chuckle. "Yeah, you haven't seen me here for the last few months. She'll understand." He turned around and faced the smaller boy. "Do you need to pack anything?"

Kurt shook his head. "No, I dashed home before I came here. I didn't want to go back. I'll wait while you do though."

Puck laughed. "I'm sure you will." Puck ran back up the stairs and picked up the bag that was on the floor of his closet. With a sigh he set it on the bed and put his phone and iPod charger in it. He had been planning to get away for weeks. Now, he had the chance, with the boy he loved.

He ran back down the stairs, double checking everything. "You ready to go, Kurt?"

Kurt sighed deeply. "Yeah, I suppose we should."


	4. Mad World

**A/N: Here is chapter four. (: sorry it took so long, I'm in the process of moving, and I seem to pass out at night. Strange feeling, passing out at night and not staring at your ceiling. Do I need to keep repeating myself? I don't Glee, or Mad World. Please enjoy!**

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad  
>The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had<br>I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
>When people run in circles it's a very, very<br>Mad world  
>-Mad World by Gary Jules<p>

They drove for hours, strongly hoping to outrun Blaine. Puck fought the urge to look over at his companion. He didn't want to make this any harder than it was. The thought kept running through his mind that maybe if he did this, oh, six months earlier, Kurt would have stayed with him, and not have run off with Anderson. He couldn't help but shake off the thoughts.

"Does the radio work in this ancient thing?" asked Kurt timidly.

"Hey now, don't diss the truck," teased Puck. "Yes, it does on occasion. You just have to find the right station, and I have to hit a bump just right." He said it looking straight ahead of him.

"Damn," cursed Kurt. "Never mind then." Kurt fiddled with the strap of his bag nervously. "Are you, like, really mad at me, Noah?"

It was then Puck looked over at his companion. Kurt's face was down, looking at his feet, and a frown was disgracing his beautiful face. A frown painted itself on Puck's own face. "No, what makes you say that?" he replied smoothly.

Kurt's blueish-green eyes met Puck's. "You just haven't said anything for the whole last three hours," commented said boy. "You weren't like this, four months ago."

Puck shrugged and looked back at the road. "Things have changed in the last four months, Kurt." Puck brushed his fingers across the steering wheel. "I haven't been the same person since you left me," he admitted with a shrug.

"Really?" Kurt's eyes almost seemed to light up slightly at the thought, but that glimmer disappeared as quickly as it showed. They clouded with sorrow, and the slight haunting of tears. "I'm not that important, really."

Puck glanced over at him quickly. "What has he done to you?" he murmured.

Kurt let out a harsh laugh. "You keep saying that. Why?"

Puck looked at Kurt for a while. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"No, why would I do that? You are doing something you really shouldn't have. I owe you the truth at least, right?"

"Kurt, you don't owe me a damn thing, except maybe an explanation." Puck sighed in frustration. "Honestly though, I don't want one of those right now."

"Okay," said Kurt meekly. "What do you want then?"

Puck looked at Kurt with wide eyes. "I don't want anything, Kurt. I just want to see the shine in your eyes again."

"Oh."

They didn't say much after that. Puck couldn't help but believe the life that Anderson had sucked out of his boy. They drove for the next three hours in silence, neither wanting to break the awkward silence. They drove until they hit Peoria, IL.

"What are we doing here?" asked Kurt.

"The cabin isn't too far from here, just another half hour or so." Puck kept his eyes forward as he asked the next question. "Has he called you yet?"

"I don't know. I've been afraid to look," admitted Kurt quietly.

"Do you want me to look?"

"No. I'll be fine. It's probably best that I don't."

"Okay, whatever you want to do. This is all about you, whatever you want to do." Puck shrugged. "I don't have much on me, but I'll do what I can for you."

"Thank you, Noah."

Puck smiled at his travel buddy. "You are welcome, Kurt." His phone started to ring. "Hello? No. Shut the goddamn door in his ungrateful, selfish face." A pause happened in conversation while he listened to his mom continue to talk. His hand gripped the steering wheel tightly. "I won't tell you where we are, I don't want him knowing. I'll keep in touch somehow; just know that we are safe, okay? Bye."

"Your mom?"

"Yes," answered Puck through tight lips.

"Blaine?"

"Yes," he replied stiffly. "Who the hell does he think he is, demanding to know where _I_ am?"

"He thinks he is Blaine Anderson, the kid that can do no wrong," replied Kurt with a shrug. "Wouldn't your mom know where we went, if she notices the key is gone?"

Puck laughed. "Na. We keep the key at the cabin, less hassle of having to remember where we keep it. It never moves here." He touched Kurt's shoulder softly. "Look, if you could take your battery out it'll keep Anderson from following us, I will do the same with mine."

Kurt began to nod and stopped. "How can I talk to Dad and Carole?"

Puck sat there for a moment. "We'll come to the city and use a pay phone. I don't plan on staying here very long, just until I get my feet underneath me."

"And what about my feet, Noah? What am I supposed to do?" snapped Kurt. "The boy that I thought I loved just hit me across the face; how do I move on from that?"

A spear of pain stabbed Puck's heart at the thought of him loving the… bastard. He swallowed his pain and looked ahead. "I don't have an answer for you," he admitted. "I have failed at moving on," he muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry," murmured Kurt.

Puck shrugged as they pulled into the park that held their cabin. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

Kurt looked out the window and let out a small gasp. "This is a nice place," he commented.

"Thanks." Puck parked his truck and hopped out quickly, needing to stretch his stiff legs. He wasn't sure how the next few days were going to go. He was nervous, and very happy that the cabin had more than one room. He picked his and Kurt's bag out of the back of the truck. "Home sweet home, for the next few days."

"Charming little place from what I can see," admired the countertenor. "I can see why you like it here so much."

Puck smiled at him. "I really do. It is amazing to escape to. I thought about bringing you here last winter, but decided against it."

Kurt's eyes twinkled at the thought. "Well, better late than never, right?" he joked.

Puck just looked at him through the corner of his eye. "Right," he agreed softly. "Anyways," he coughed, "I'll just give you a short tour of the place, yeah?"

Kurt just nodded. He put his head down and focused on not slipping on the ice on the sidewalk.

"The place will be kept unlocked, since we are here now. There is only one bedroom, feel free to take it. I sleep on the couch anyways. It's here," explained Puck. He set Kurt's bag on the bed and walked out, turning the light on behind him. "Not much is kept in the kitchen. Peanut butter and ice. I'll be making a grocery run in the morning. For now, I'm going to bed, I'm wiped." Puck pulled out a blanket from the chest at the foot of Kurt's bed and hauled it toward the couch. He promptly sprawled across the couch, blanket on top of him. "Good night, Kurt," he called across the room.

"Good night, Noah," called Kurt back.

Puck nodded into his pillow and was welcoming the arms of sleep. He was almost out when a hand touched him lightly on the shoulder. "Shit!" he shouted as he bolted up.

"Sorry! Sorry!" apologized Kurt quietly.

"It's fine," soothed Puck. "Sarah will just yell at me, not used to the physical contact." Puck shrugged. "What'd you need?"

Kurt's cheeks flushed, visible in the dark room. "It's nothing really, silly now that I think about it. Just," Kurt paused, looking for the right words, "just go back to bed." He turned to leave when a hand on his wrist stopped him.

"What is it, Kurt?" Concern was clear in Puck's eyes. "You wouldn't bother me for nothing, I realize that. I'm not the dumbass you think I am."

Kurt shuffled his foot, refusing to look at Puck. "It's just, I've never been here, and it's so quiet."

Puck raised a silent eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"Do you think we could move the couch into the bedroom?"

Puck raised the other eyebrow in surprise. "Move the thousand pound couch?" He let out a short laugh. "You're cute, Kurt. That isn't happening." He frowned when he saw Kurt's face fall at the statement. "However," he hurried on to say, "if you don't care, I'll go back there with you and we can share the bed." Kurt opened his mouth to object, but Puck cut him off. "The bed is a queen anyways, plenty big enough for the both of us. I won't touch you, I promise."

Kurt closed his mouth and nodded. "Thank you, Noah." He padded back to his room quietly, not really caring if Puck was following him or not. He climbed into the bed and stayed on the right hand side, looking out the window.

"You know, I don't bite," commented Puck as he climbed into the bed. "Go to sleep, it'll be like I'm not here."

Kurt nodded and repeat himself earlier, "Goodnight, Noah."

Puck looked over his shoulder and smiled softly. "Goodnight, Kurt." He looked back over at the wall in front of him. He stared at it for a long time, letting the blank wall clear his buzzing mind. He tried not to think of the man in the bed next to him. After an hour or so he let his eyes drift shut and he fell into the oblivion.


	5. Better Than I Know Myself

**A/N: Here is chapter five! :D :D I hope you enjoy! Must I keep repeating myself? I don't own Glee or Adam Lambert, though if Adam was to show up at my door, I wouldn't care too much. (: What I would do to spend the day with him. Enough with my Adam love. Haha.(: **

Cold as ice, and more bitter than a December  
>Winter night, that's how I treated you<br>And I know that I, I sometimes tend to lose my temper  
>And I cross the line, yeah that's the truth<br>-Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert

Puck woke up at entirely too early the next morning. He stared at his ceiling for a while, wondering what he should do. He listened to Kurt's even breathing and was glad that he could sleep so peacefully considering what happened the day before, or before that from what he gathered. When he heard the alarm on his watch beep at five he carefully got out of bed, and went out to the kitchen. Taking a spoon from the drawer, he took a spoonful of peanut butter and sat on the couch.

What was he doing? Puck didn't know. All he was doing was torturing himself. He knew that. Kurt isn't even in the right state of mind to go anywhere. Pain stabbed Puck in the heart at the thought of Kurt being abused. He really wanted to just up and go beat Anderson within an inch of his life. He knew he couldn't leave Kurt alone now though. Thinking back to the night before, he knew that the excuse of a new house was simply an excuse not to be alone. He sighed and put his face in his hands. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't hear the soft padding of feet behind him.

"Noah?" asked Kurt softly. He placed his hand on Puck's shoulder gently.

Puck jumped at Kurt's voice. "Holy shit. You can't keep doing that," gasped Puck.

"Sorry," Kurt apologized. "It's just you were sitting there in complete silence. I was worried."

Puck just chuckled. "I'm fine. Just thinking about things."

Kurt sat down next to him. "What kind of things?"

Puck looked at Kurt longingly, but said nothing about it. "What I'm going to do from here, you know? Groceries, life, income, the necessities in life."

Kurt just stared back. "We aren't going back?" Surprise was evident, but there wasn't any regret or pain.

"Do you want to go back? Back to that… monster?" asked Puck gently.

"No, not right now at least," admitted Kurt. "I just want away. I don't want to have to deal with any of it. Dad, Carole, Finn, Blaine, any of it. Is it possible to just go away?" Kurt looked up at Puck with questions floating in his eyes.

Puck shrugged and looked down at his bare feet. "No idea. I would assume so, but to what length?" Puck looked over at Kurt. "I think I want to run to town today and call my mom, let her know we are safe and everything. You want to come?"

"Yes," answered Kurt without hesitation. "Yeah, we could get some food while we are there too?" he asked a moment later.

Puck nodded. "Yeah, food for at least a week. Cereal and Ramen Noodles sound good? With something good to drink?"

Kurt nodded. "Maybe some salad?" he suggested. "I like salad," he mumbled.

"Salad sounds good too. God knows I can eat better." Puck got up with a groan. "I'm leaving within the next hour, so shower or whatever." He then moved toward the kitchen to wash his spoon.

"So," began Kurt once they got on the road, "can I give you an explanation today?"

Puck looked over at Kurt with wide eyes. "For what?"

"For," Kurt swallowed uncomfortably, "for leaving you I guess."

Puck shook his head. "No, not right now. I don't want to spend the entire day in a foul mood," choked out Puck. "Maybe later tonight though, I would like one at some point."

"Okay, over dinner then?" Kurt's voice was pleading.

Sighing, Puck agreed with him. "Yeah, over dinner."

The truck fell into an uncomfortable silence. Kurt shifted back and forth in his seat and Puck's fingers drummed on the steering wheel to the beat of _Don't Stop Believing_. The finally hit Peoria and went for the nearest pay phone they could find.

"Mom? Hi. Yes, we are fine. No, we aren't breaking the law, I promise. One hundred percent legal. I'll call you later Mom, okay? Tell Sarah I miss her." Puck hung up the phone and stepped away so Kurt could use it.

"Dad! It's okay, it's okay. I promise. No, I wasn't kidnapped by Noah, what gave you that absurd idea? Oh. Of course. No. Don't listen to him, I'll explain why later. Blaine is a liar and cheat. I just needed away for a while Dad. Noah and I will be back later, I promise. He'll take care of me, I know that. I love you Dad. Bye." Kurt sniffed and walked away from the phone.

Puck enveloped him in a giant hug. "I'm sorry it's so tough for you, Kurt. I wish I could help you somehow." He kissed him softly on the top of his head.

Kurt smiled into Puck's chest. "You are, Noah. You are. Thank you so much." He gives Puck a squeeze and then backs away. "Now, how about some food?"

"Food sounds good. Let's go shopping first though," agreed Puck.

An hour or so later they are back in the truck, Puck's pocketbook slightly depleted. He figured he would have to find a way to get an income so they could live.

"Where are we going for lunch?" asked Kurt once he buckled his seat belt.

"Where ever you want to go," replied Puck smoothly. He silently that it wouldn't be anywhere expensive, he wasn't sure if he could afford it.

"Is there a food court close by? That would cater to both of us I'm sure," suggested Kurt.

"I think we went by a mall on our way in here," commented Puck idly. "Let's do that."

They drive in silence, not quite sure how to break the silence. They both end up eating at Subway. They sit down on an excluded table.

"So, can I explain now?" urged Kurt.

Puck sighed, and took a bite into his sandwich. After he swallowed it, he answered, "Sure. Why not. This is as good as any time."

"Okay," Kurt steeled himself with a deep breath. "Where do you want me to start?" His eyebrow was raised in question as he took a dainty bite out of his salad.

"Why? What did he have that I obviously didn't have?" asked Puck, voice cracking with emotion. He cursed himself silently for it, he couldn't do this now. Not when he still had so many other questions.

"Is that what you've been asking yourself for the last four months?" Kurt's eyebrows were raised in surprise. At Puck's silence, he continued. "I'm so sorry you thought that, Noah. I didn't mean,"

"I'm sure you didn't," snapped Puck. "Sorry, go on."

Kurt nodded. "I didn't mean you to think that at all." Kurt took another deep breath and stared at his hands. "It was more of the fact that I was ashamed of myself. I didn't, I still don't, deserve you." He swallowed, trying to keep the tears out of his voice. "Looking back at the situation, I was cheating on you, Noah. You didn't deserve me." He looked up at the jock, tears in his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry."

Puck swallowed the tears in his throat. He wouldn't cry in front of Kurt, not today. He had expected it back then, but it pained him more knowing it was the truth. He sniffed quietly and opened his mouth to speak, but got cut off.

"I really am, Noah. It hurts me now to admit it. It hurt me then too, you have to believe me," pled Kurt, a tear dancing down his flawless face. "He gave me no choice after the first coffee outing. He told me that I had to meet him tomorrow, or he would tell you that we kissed that day, not that we did then." The porcelain boy sniffed, wiping angrily at his face. "It just kept snowballing from there. I honestly did want to get to know him better, I honestly did want to be his friend, but after a while, it just got absurd, you know? That Monday, that you caught me in my lies? That was the first day he kissed me, honest to God. He just wouldn't let me go; he kept kissing me until he was happy with it. Then he let me go and I ran, with every intention to tell you."

"Why didn't you tell the truth then?" asked Puck softly, reaching across to wipe at another tear dancing down Kurt's face. He flinched away from the contact, but didn't move to stop him.

"I don't know. I was afraid that you caught me? I think that's what it was. I tried so hard to try to mend things with you, to explain myself for the next few days, but you wouldn't let me. Why?" More tears streamed down Kurt's face, but he didn't care.

Puck sat back in his chair. "I don't know. I wanted more than an apology. I wanted to see an effort put forth other than just an apology, proof that you actually gave a shit. I didn't see it, so I thought you made your decision." Puck's voice was steady through it all, but in his eyes, Kurt could see the internal struggle.

Kurt nodded. "I understand." Kurt took a small bite of his salad, contemplating things. "Is there anything else you wanted to ask?"

Puck shook his head. "Not right now, I got what I wanted from that. I'll live now."

"Did you mean it?" asked Kurt abruptly.

"Did I mean what?" Puck raised an eyebrow in question. There are a lot of things he has said in the last few months. He wanted to know exactly what he was verifying.

"That you loved me?" Kurt's voice was quiet, almost hesitant.


	6. Heavy In Your Arms

**A/N: Here is installment number 6. I have no idea how many there will be. I'm just kind of going with the flow at the moment… (: I still do not own Glee. It would be a very different show if I did. Ha. I also do not own **_**Heavy in Your Arms**_**, I just worship the song. **

And is it worth the wait  
>All this killing time?<br>Are you strong enough to stand  
>Protecting both your heart and mine?<p>

Who is the betrayer?  
>Who's the killer in the crowd?<br>The one who creeps in corridors  
>And doesn't make a sound<br>-Heavy in Your Arms by Florence +The Machine

Puck choked on his Coke at the question. "Seriously?" was all he was able to manage. He was absolutely flabbergasted at the question. How could Kurt question it? He tried so hard to prove that he did love him, did he really fall short in the end?

Kurt nodded. "Did you mean it?" he repeated.

"Of course I did. I never lied to you, Kurt. I honestly wanted us to work." Puck balled the packaging of his sandwich up in a ball and stood up.

"Where are you going? I'm trying to have a conversation with you!" demanded Kurt standing up sharply.

"I am going to throw away my trash, and then go home," replied Puck coldly.

"I'm still trying to talk to you!" called Kurt, following Puck to the trash can.

"So talk, nobody is stopping you," replied Puck. He rolled his eyes. Sometimes he didn't know what he saw in the drama queen. He was worse than some girls at times, yet, he still loved the smaller man. Puck confused himself often.

"Except you keep walking away from me," replied Kurt angrily.

Puck stopped at the hand on his shoulder. "What?" he snapped. "Can it not wait until we are in the damn truck?" He immediately cursed himself for being so rash.

Kurt stood there, shocked. "I guess it could. I'm sorry," he apologized, bowing his head.

"Shit," muttered Puck. "I'm sorry, Kurt."

The brunette boy shrugged. "S'ok. Nothing I'm not used to," he mumbled.

"You shouldn't be though," argued Puck as he climbed into the truck. "How can I make it up to you? I'll do anything."

Kurt let out a hysterical laugh. "Make it up to me? What are you talking about?"

"I shouted at you. An apology isn't enough for that to me. What can I do?" Puck was pretty much groveling at Kurt's feet. He couldn't believe what Kurt could bring him to do.

Kurt shrugged. "Really, it is okay, Noah." There was a slight bit of sorrow in his voice and it pained Puck's heart. "I'll just go to the back and read when we get back, no big deal. You won't know I'm there."

Puck let out a short laugh. "I tried that for the last four months, Kurt. It won't work now," he said bitterly.

"You really did, didn't you?" murmured Kurt.

Puck let it slide. He really didn't feel like explaining himself for the third time that day. They drove the rest of the way in silence, neither knowing how to break the stony silence without making it worse. Puck pulled into the drive of the cabin and sat there for a few moments, watching Kurt's figure retreat into the building. He let his head fall to the steering wheel, just needing the moment to himself. He wasn't sure how he was going to go in there, and face Kurt, again. He really just wanted his room and blank wall back. He couldn't go in there and stare at the wood though; Kurt would give him the pity he never wanted. He let himself breathe there for several minutes, just letting his mind empty of emotion. When he looked back up he saw the curtain twitch in the window.

Climbing out of the truck he walked up to the cabin slowly, kicking the snow out of his way. He opened the door and was expected to be attacked by questions, but was greeted with silence. He saw on the table a mug of hot chocolate with a note under it.

_Thought you might want some of this after today. (: _

Puck smiled at the handwriting and took a sip of the hot drink. He glanced over at the bedroom and saw the closed door. With a shrug he sat down on the couch and let himself relax there, listening to nothing but the wind rattling the panes in the window. He sat like that for an hour, zoning out into the place that is nowhere close to paradise, but as close as he's going to get.

When his chocolate was gone, he washed the mug and hesitated outside the bedroom door. He heard nothing but the occasional page turn come from the room. He knocked quietly. At the quiet response, he opened the door.

"Do you want company tonight? Or are you fine?" Puck asked.

"Oh." Kurt looked down at the book in front of him and back up. "I'll be up for a while yet."

"That wasn't exactly an answer, Kurt," said Puck with a smirk.

Kurt smiled. "I know. I don't care. The first night is always the worst. I think I'll be fine tonight if you want to sleep somewhere else," encouraged Kurt. "I understand."

Puck raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Okay," he said. "If you need me, I'll be on the couch." He shut the door behind him quietly. He sat down at the table and pulled out the map he bought earlier. He needed to find a new place to go, somewhere that was in a town, somewhere, but far enough away Blaine wouldn't find them.

"What's that?" asked a timid voice behind him.

"A map?"

"No shit, Sherlock," Kurt joked as he sat down beside him. "What have you got it out for?"

"Trying to figure out a game plan," he replied simply. "Where do you want to go?" Puck looked up at Kurt and met his blue-green eyes.

"I want to go home," replied Kurt softly, almost sadly. "That isn't an option though. I can't face Blaine, or my dad at this point."

That spiked Puck's interest. "Why can't you face Mr. Hummel?"

Kurt laughed softly. "You can still call him Burt, you know that right?" The twinkle left his eyes and he looked down at his hands. "Same reason as before I guess. I'm ashamed."

Puck reached across the table and covered Kurt's hands with one of his own. "There is _nothing_ for you to be ashamed of," he said passionately.

"Isn't there? I let myself get caught up in a silly little daydream. I let myself get torn down. I let him treat me like I was nothing but a piece of lint. Isn't that something to be ashamed of?" Tears glistened in Kurt's eyes at the end of his rant.

Puck sat there silently for a moment, trying to put together a coherent thought. "You realized it though," he said quietly. "It took Mom years to do that, and by the time she did, my father left. You still have your pride, Kurt. You still have joy in life."

Kurt let out a bitter laugh. "Pride. Yeah, that's what I have left. That's why I ran with my tail between my legs." A tear slipped from his eye and he brushed it away angrily.

Puck got up and embraced his friend tightly. He didn't say anything, not wanting to patronize Kurt in any way. He was more than surprised when Kurt threw his arms around his neck and cried softly into his shoulder. He didn't say a word; he just let the smaller boy cry. God knows that he could have used a shoulder a time or two.

Kurt sniffed softly. "I'm sorry," he whispered into the juncture of Puck's neck and shoulder.

Puck's hand rubbed his back soothingly. "It is more than okay. I promise." Puck kissed the top of his head softly.

Kurt sniffed and looked up at Puck. "Why?" was all he could manage in a coarse whisper.

Puck ignored the question. "It's been a taxing day for both of us. Why don't we just go to bed?" he suggested quietly.

Kurt nodded. "Would you?" He left the ending open, once more not really wanting to ask him to do it.

Puck nodded slowly. "If you need me too," he answered.

"I don't _need_ you to do anything, Noah," he murmured.

"Bullshit," he laughed. "Come on, let's go. I'm beat." He got up and tried to ignore the fact that Kurt whimpered. A small smile graced his face when Kurt's hand reached for his. He didn't comment on it, he didn't have the energy for another winded conversation; but it was nice to have Kurt's hand in his again. They reached the bedroom and he shucked his jeans. He climbed into the bed and sat there with his eyes closed, waiting for sleep to overtake him.

"Noah?" whispered Kurt from beside him. "Are you still awake?"

Puck only twitched in response, not really wanting to wake up enough to answer. He could feel Kurt roll over and fought the urge to meet his eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I know you are probably asleep, and can't hear me anyway. I know it's hard for you, it is for me too. I don't know if it is the same way or anything, but it's hard still the same. Thank you, Noah."

A tear glistened at the edge of Puck's eye. He fought the urge to not wipe at it. He felt Kurt roll over and sniffle quietly. Puck let himself fall into the oblivion of sleep, hoping that maybe, he would feel better in the morning.


	7. Voodoo

**A/N: I am so sorry this is out so late! I moved a few weeks ago, and I'm still trying to sort out the bomb zone I call my bedroom! I will try to get the next one up this week to compensate for two or three weeks without anything… I'm sorry! Once again… I do not own Glee… Or Adam Lambert. Though, if the latter was to show up at my door, I wouldn't mind. (:**

_So every time I try to break this trace  
>I'm so afraid I'll miss my chance<br>To be bewitched by the bayou  
><em>-Voodoo by Adam Lambert_  
><em> 

Kurt woke up early that morning to a pair of arms around his chest and someone breathing lightly in his ear. He tensed immediately, wondering what happened last night. He was sure he wasn't with Blaine, but maybe the thing with Puck was just a dream. He shifted slightly, trying not to wake the other sleeping boy. He sighed in relief when he saw it was Puck. He shifted again, making a more conscious effort to be careful, and moved closer to Puck and his embrace. He fell back asleep, head resting against Puck's strong chest.

An hour or so later Puck woke up and found himself wrapped around Kurt. He immediately retreated, hoping not to wake the sleeping boy.

"Where'd you go?" Kurt rasped, voice thick with sleep.

"Back to my side of the bed," replied Puck. He was surprised he was this coherent this early in the morning. "I promised I wouldn't invade your space, so I'm trying to keep that." He settled back on his own pillow, arms behind his head. He stared a hole into the ceiling, again.

"No, come back," begged Kurt sleepily. "I promise I'm okay with it. You are warm, and you keep me safe. Come back, Noah. Please?"

He looked over at his companion and smiled. Kurt was always so adorable when he was half asleep. The thought of denying his boy of his wish almost broke his heart, again. He eventually moved over so he shared a pillow with Kurt.

"Thank you," murmured Kurt into his chest. "I'm going back to sleep now okay?" Kurt snuggled further into Puck as Puck wrapped his arm around him. As soon as Puck thought Kurt was asleep he was mistaken. "Keep me safe, okay? Don't let him get me," he murmured softly, almost inaudibly.

Puck was struck to the core with that. He didn't fall back asleep; he just laid there and held his friend close. He knew that it was what Kurt wanted, so he obeyed his wish. He let his mind wander for the first time in a long time. He wondered if Kurt and he would travel around the US for a while, evading Anderson. He wondered where in the hell they would go next. He didn't have anywhere else to go that was relatively free. He wondered how long it would take Anderson to find them, if he was still actively pursuing them. He wondered a lot of things, but he never wondered what would come of them through all of this. It hurt too much to think of it, so he didn't. He had become a pro of not thinking of the pink elephant in the room, it wasn't something he was proud of, but something he had accomplished.

He was drawn out of his reverie by the shifting of weight next to him. He glanced down at his friend and was surprised to find his eyes open and alert. "Morning," he said simply.

"Morning," responded Kurt quietly. "What were you thinking about?" He was drawing lazy circles down Puck's arm.

"Nothing really," responded Puck immediately. "Just what I'm going to do from here."

"You?" A slight tremor could be heard in Kurt's voice at the thought that he wouldn't be going with him.

"Us. What we are going to do from here," corrected Puck, brushing hair out of Kurt's eyes.

"Oh. What did you have in mind?" asked Kurt, relief evident in his voice.

"I have no idea," admitted the jock. "We will have to go back to Peoria today; I need to make a phone call to my mom."

"That's fine," replied Kurt. "Can I go too? Or do I have to stay here?" he asked quietly.

"Is that even a question? Of course you can come." Puck was almost appalled at the fact he had to ask the question.

"Good. I want to call my dad. We have a place somewhere; I forget where, that I never told Blaine about. We could go there. Once I tell Dad the extent of what happened, we could go right home," Kurt let out a rough laugh, "but he wouldn't tell him where we went."

Puck nodded slowly. "That's a good idea. Mom doesn't have that sort of will power. She'll cave if given a really good deal."

Kurt nodded and placed a small kiss on Puck's chest.

"What was that for?" whispered Puck.

"Thank you, for everything," he whispered back. "I know this can't be easy for you, it isn't for me either, Noah."

"I know."

Kurt's eyes widened. "How?" he whispered.

"I heard it last night," replied Puck.

"You," Kurt's voice was small, "you were awake last night? Why didn't you respond?"

"I was on that edge of awake and asleep. I didn't want to wake all the way up to respond," replied Puck smoothly. "I honestly thought that I was dreaming."

"Dreaming? Why?" Curiosity was evident in his voice, but was also hesitant; like he was afraid he was overstepping his boundaries.

Puck bit his lip softly. "I don't know. I was on that wall, you know." He knew it was a lie, but he wasn't going to admit it out loud to him. "Wasn't quite sure if it was real or not."

Kurt nodded. "Okay. Still is the same though," he whispered. "When do we want to head?"

Puck shrugged. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be ready in two minutes. Change of shirt," laughed Puck.

"Does this place have a shower?" teased Kurt. "I am pretty comfortable though. Don't feel like moving too much." Almost to emphasize his point, he snuggled closer to Puck. "Noah, what are we doing?"

"Lying in bed?"

"No, I knew that already," replied Kurt. "What is this? Us? What are we doing?"

"Running from your crazy boyfriend?"

"He is not my boyfriend, not after that," said Kurt harshly. "I don't know if I could ever forgive him for that."

Puck smiled ruefully. "You don't have to right now. It'll keep you careful for a while, you know, while you are still searching for a new guy."

Kurt bit his lip gently, avoiding Puck's eyes.

"Don't tell me you already have? Yesterday? Really? You are going to make him a rebound?" Puck's eyes were wide. He knew Kurt was hurt and in need of some good attention, but he didn't think he'd go that far.

"You could say that," replied Kurt, still avoiding Puck's eyes. "He isn't a rebound though. I'm hurt, but I refuse to hurt anyone else like that."

Puck didn't reply that he already had, he just stayed quiet, hoping Kurt would fill in the silence himself.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, concern weighing heavy in his eyes.

"Just fine," replied Puck. "Look, let's get going, I need to call Mom before she leaves for work tonight." Before Kurt could respond, Puck had released him and rolled out of bed. He made it to the door before he heard Kurt behind him. He stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, you do know that's the truth, right?" plead Kurt. "Noah, don't leave me to think that you don't."

Puck froze. He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. Instead, he turned around and left a soft kiss on his forehead and walked out the door, mind reeling.

Kurt had a silent tear dance down his cheek at Puck's retreating figure. The thought of Puck thinking he didn't feel bad tore through him. It hurt worse than knowing that Blaine had broken his trust. It hurt worse than when Blaine was blackmailing him. He couldn't bear the thought of it. He knew he was never going to be fully happy with Blaine. He had always felt slightly guilty when he saw Puck in the hallway. He knew he had hurt him, but he felt as if he didn't deserve forgiveness either.

That day, in the hallway, was from the middle of freaking nowhere. He was finally able to get by himself so he could talk to Puck. The thought of Puck being in so much pain was tearing him apart inside. He really didn't want to go to his house later that day, but he had nowhere else to go. He couldn't go to 'Cedes, she would have just talked crap. Finn would just go beat him, without much thought into Kurt's feelings. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew Puck would push all else aside to help him. He knew Puck wasn't much over him, he could see it in his eyes.

Another tear danced down Kurt's face at the thought of another stony ride to Peoria. He dashed out and caught Puck mid-change. He hadn't changed much. His torso was still strong. He was still breathtakingly beautiful. "Noah," he choked out as another few tears danced down his pale face.

The said boy turned around sharply. "What is it, Kurt. I'm kind of changing right now." He was curt, frustration seeping through.

"I just thought," Kurt paused, not sure what he was thinking. "I just thought that maybe, I could call Dad later. I don't want another awkward car ride. I'll just stay here. Clean up a bit."

"Kurt, shut up. You're rambling. You are coming, and that is final." Puck pulled his shirt over his head and wiped away a few of the tears on Kurt's face.

Kurt smiled ruefully. "Thank you," he whispered. He hoped that maybe this would be the healing that was much needed between them. He turned and went to change his clothes.

**A/N: Sorry. I need some input in the next few days before I post chapter 8. Do you think it's too early for them to start getting back together? Or not? Just something I'm struggling with at the moment. Thanks for reading! Criticism is always welcome. **


	8. Broken Open

**A/N: Hello again! Two! In one week! It is a freaking record! :D :D I am sorry for the delay, I will try to get better, but school is getting crazy with deadlines and college stuff. Ugh. (: Once again, I do not own Glee. It wouldn't be the same show if I did. I also don't own Adam Lambert. I just really love him and his angel voice and his awesome music, and I will stop there. (: **

_Broken pieces, break into me  
>So imperfectly what you should be<br>Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open  
>Hide here, confide here, so we can be broken open<br>-_Broken Open by Adam Lambert

"Hello?" answered a gruff voice.

"Dad, hi," answered Kurt.

"Kurt, how are you? Where are you? When are you coming back?" Burt fired off the questions before Kurt could answer.

"I'm," Kurt paused, not entirely sure how he felt. Taking a deep breath, he went with his gut. "I'm fine. Noah is taking good care of me. I can't say where we are right now; I don't want Blaine to find out." He took another deep breath, knowing the next answer would kill his dad. "I don't know when we are coming back, Dad."

"What happened between you and Blaine? I thought everything was fine?" Confusion was clear in Burt's voice.

Kurt swallowed and glanced at Puck, who was just sitting outside the door. "No, we never were fine, from the start. It just got worse. I'll tell you everything later, I promise. I just need some space right now."

"Puck is going to give you space?"

Kurt let out a nervous laugh. "Noah is fine, Dad. I promise."

"Are you sure? I know from Finn he didn't take the split well."

"Dad, really? Are you going to make me do this when he is sitting just outside?"

"No, I won't, this time," agreed Burt.

"Thank you," sighed Kurt, chancing a glance at Puck. "Where is that once place that we went to several years ago?"

"Indianapolis? Why?"

Kurt let out a groan. "Puck and I need someplace to go. If we run up his bill to much, his mom will know and she will end up telling Blaine where we are. I didn't want to go back across Ohio though."

"That's understandable. You can stay there as long as you need. I won't tell anyone. I would like to know what happened though."

"You'll get it, Dad. Just… not right now. I promise. Thank you. Where is the key?"

"We keep one here, but there is another one under the eve by the door there." He rattled off the address to a waiting Kurt.

"Thank you, Dad. I love you. I'll call you when I can, I promise."

"Love you too son. Goodbye."

Kurt hung the phone up and leaned against the side, just staring at the paper. The door opened behind him, but he didn't much notice.

"How'd it go?"

Kurt looked up at Puck. "It went as well as expected I guess." He bit his lip and leaned into Puck's chest. "I'm going to have to tell him next time I talk to him though."

Puck wrapped his arms around him, not quite sure how to respond to that. "I'm sorry," he said. He wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, but he knew he didn't ever do it enough.

"It's fine. I got the address for the house. It's in Indianapolis."

"Okay. That's fine. It works. Do you want to stop by Lima on the way through?"

Kurt shook his head. "I couldn't do that. Dad would talk me into staying." He sniffed quietly.

"Is that wrong?" Puck whispered.

"I don't know," admitted Kurt. "Is it? I really want to go home, Noah. I want my dad." A small sob bubbled up through his frame. "I also just want to stay with you," he said quietly. Puck struggled to hear it.

"Who said you can't have both?" he murmured into Kurt's hair. He was confused as to why Kurt would want to be with him, rather than his new love interest, but he would take it.

"No one?" answered Kurt miserably. "Finn. He wouldn't let that fly. He would end up telling everyone I'm back. I don't want Blaine finding out."

"Then we go to Indianapolis for a while. What if we met Mr. Hummel and Carole in Columbus?"

Kurt looked up at Puck, tears in his eyes. "Could we do that?"

Puck shrugged. "I don't see why not. We could be there tomorrow if we wanted to be. Meet them for lunch or dinner?"

"I would like that," admitted Kurt. "It would have to be lunch though; Dad would try to get us to come back with them to spend the night."

"What's the harm in that?" asked Puck gently, not wanting to patronize him. "It would be a free place to stay, you could tell your dad what happened without being misunderstood, and we could be out by morning." His hands rubbed Kurt's back soothingly.

"I guess that's true. I would like to tell him when it wasn't on the phone, but not in public either." Kurt sat there for a moment. "What else do we have to do up here today?"

"Nothing. I was going to call my mom, but I don't think I'm going too. She can deal 'til we get where we are going. I may go in and see Sarah though, if we go to Lima."

"So, I can call Dad again? Let him know we are going to be by for dinner tomorrow?"

Puck nodded. "Yeah. That sounds good to me."

"Awesome, thanks Noah." Kurt turned to call his dad back to share his good news.

Puck stepped out of the booth and stood against the corner. He waited patiently for Kurt to finish talking to his dad. His eyes stayed on his truck half a block away. He really hoped nobody thought it was worth stealing, because he wouldn't be able to catch them. When Kurt joined him outside, they migrated to the truck, Kurt with a spring in his step.

"He's happy we are stopping by," supplied Kurt once they got moving.

"That's good."

"Are you okay?" Kurt's eyes were full of concern.

"Fine," Puck lied smoothly. "I'm just anxious for our start out tomorrow." That was the truth, but he wasn't by any means 'fine'.

"Is this about this morning?" Kurt's voice was timid, like he was afraid of another tongue lashing.

Puck glanced at him, mouth slightly agape. He snapped it close quickly. "Why would you think that?" He really didn't think that he was that see through.

"You have been stony since this morning," Kurt said simply. "It's just an observation I have made."

Puck shrugged. "I'm fine. It isn't a big deal, really."

"I think you're lying to me," replied Kurt. "It's about this other guy you imagined, isn't it?" he accused.

Puck looked over at Kurt sharply. "What?" His hands tightened on the wheel at the thought of Kurt honestly being into another guy so soon after Blaine. "Why would you think that?" His eyes stared straight ahead, not wanting to look at Kurt.

"It was when you clammed up this morning and got all pissy."

"I did not get pissy," argued Puck, glaring at Puck.

"You did. Not the same way I get pissy," laughed Kurt, "but pissy nonetheless."

Puck sighed. "Sure."

"Sure what? You agree with me?"

"Yeah. It was what set me off this morning." Puck looked over at his companion and smiled ruefully. "I just don't want you going out there and setting yourself up for disappointment. It hurts. It's what will happen if you follow through with this," he paused, looking for the right words, "with this guy."

Kurt smiled and placed his hand on Puck's lap, making his heart race. "He won't hurt me," he assured. "Trust me on this. Please?" His eyes were pleading and full of hope.

"I don't know why you are so sure of that, but I'll trust you. Just know, if this dude breaks your heart, he'll deal with me."

Kurt let out a small laugh and shook his head. "I promise."

Puck forced a smile. "Good." They drove in silence the rest of the way. They pulled in and sat in the car in silence for a moment. "You know, to be there by dinner, we'll have to leave about nine," remarked Puck.

"That's fine. I'll just go to sleep earlier," smiled Kurt as they walked to the door. They entered the threshold and Kurt stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you think you could sleep, in there, with me again?" Kurt bit his lip timidly. "You can even stay on your half of the bed if you wish."

Puck smiled. "If you want me to, I will." What Kurt didn't know, is that Puck would continue to do it until he told him not too; Kurt didn't need to keep asking him.

"Thanks, I would like that." Kurt smiled and went to the back room to change and ready for sleep.

Puck stayed up front for a while, packing things up, shutting things off, and getting ready to fly in the morning. He then followed Kurt into the bedroom and laid down on his side of the bed, arms behind his head.

"You don't have to stay over there," whispered Kurt.

"I know."

"Why are you?"

Puck shrugged. "I don't know."

At that, Kurt scooted over and laid his head on Puck's chest, smiling when his arm came down and wrapped itself around him protectively. "Goodnight, Noah." He kissed his chest softly before closing his eyes.

"Goodnight, Kurt." Puck closed his eyes and waited for sleep to overtake him and the boy in his arms. For the first time in months, he was content.


	9. Home

**A/N: Here is installment 9! Woo! Can't believe I've written it this far. (: Once again, I do not own Glee. Or Blake Shelton. (: **

_I'm lucky I know but I wanna go home  
>I've got to go home, let me go home<br>I'm just too far from where you are  
>I wanna come home<br>-Home_ by Blake Shelton

They rolled around Lima about 5 the next evening, making Kurt extremely nervous. Puck pulled into the Hummel-Hudson driveway and parked his truck next to Kurt's Escalade. "We're here," he announced. He laughed quietly to himself. Leave it to him to say the obvious.

"I'm nervous to go in," admitted Kurt, eyes downcast.

"Well, I'm by your side," offered Puck. "I won't leave you to the sharks." _I'll never leave your side either_, he allowed himself to think.

Kurt let out a nervous laugh. "I know you wouldn't. Come on, let's go brave this." He opened his door and his feet met the familiar concrete of his driveway.

They walked through the front door of the Hummel-Hudson house and Kurt was immediately assaulted by Carole. She wrapped him into a tight hug and dove in with the questions. "Kurt, where have you been? We've missed you, so much! Even Finn has been wandering around aimlessly."

Kurt laughed. "He does that anyways, Carole. I've been… away. I need some space right now."

"Good to see you to, Mrs. H," joked Puck. He wanted to take Kurt out of the spotlight, knowing he would only want to explain himself once. The said boy shot Puck a grateful look behind Carole's back.

Carole smiled and hugged Puck as well. "It's good to see you too, Puck. I hope you've been taking care of my boy," she murmured.

"Don't think anything of it," promised Puck. "He needed help, and I was there." He shrugged. "Anything I can do to help him, I will. You know that."

Carole simply nodded with a slight smile. "I'm so glad you guys came for dinner! It's almost done! Burt will be home in a few from the shop, Finn following shortly, and then, we can eat!"

"Awesome, I'm just going to take our stuff downstairs, okay? Call us when dinner is ready?" asked Kurt.

"Will do. Behave, Kurt." With the last warning, she turned and left for the kitchen.

Kurt let out a nervous laugh again, a faint blush accompanying it with Carole's words. "Well, come on then. It's not like you haven't been there before, Noah."

Puck laughed. "True is that." It made him nervous though. He had many good memories that took place in that room. He was afraid that he would be overwhelmed by it. He moved to follow Kurt to his room, and was stopped by Carole.

"Puck, can I talk to you for a moment?" she called from the kitchen.

"I'll meet you down there, I'm going to meet Mrs. H, 'kay?"

"Okay, you know where to find me," agreed Kurt.

Puck wandered toward the kitchen, almost afraid of what he was going to be met with. He knew last time, she was accepting of their relationship. Granted, this is different. He walked through the door way and was met with a glass of orange juice and toast. "Um, thank you?" he said as he sat down.

"I have a few questions for you," said Carole firmly. "I want you to answer them honestly."

Puck nodded. "Shoot." He took a bite of his toast in case he needed serious thinking time.

"What happened to make him run away so quickly?" Concern was heavy in her tone, and the stare she was giving him was making Puck uncomfortable.

"I can't tell you that," he replied swiftly. "I don't think I know the entire story. He told me a little bit. I don't think it was the entire story. It's his to tell, not mine."

"I can deal with that. I wouldn't want Burt to do that to me," agreed Carole.

"Mr. Hummel and yourself have a very different relationship than me and Kurt," interrupted Puck.

Carole's eyes sparkled. "Okay," she agreed, but her tone suggested otherwise. "Why did he come to you, rather than Burt or me?"

Puck shrugged. "I can't answer that either; I don't know. We had talked earlier that day for the first time in months. I don't know why he showed up on my door, specifically." He finished the last of his toast and downed his juice. "I think he'll unravel this tale tonight after dinner."

Carole nodded. "Well, go freshen up. We'll be leaving for Breadsticks as soon as Finn gets home from Glee."

"Thank you Mrs. H. I'll pass along the message." Puck got up and went down the stairs to Kurt's room. He paused at the door, afraid of what he'll find on the other side of the door. Would it be the same as it was six months ago? Or did he totally overhaul it, sad with the memories it held. He opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him. He looked up to find Kurt sprawled out on his bed, facedown.

"Kurt?" he whispered. "Are you okay?"

Kurt didn't stir on the bed.

"Kurt," he said a little louder. He moved toward the bed and sat on it gently. He frowned when the smaller man didn't stir at that either. He placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder and shook him gently. "Kurt, come on. Time to get ready to go. Finn will be home in a few minutes."

Kurt rolled over and looked at Puck. "Go where?" he asked with a sleepy voice.

Puck knew he hadn't been gone all that long. He wasn't quite sure how he passed out so quickly, but he envied the learned skill. "Breadsticks. Mrs. H is taking us out."

Kurt frowned. "Damn," he swore. "I was looking forward to some home cooking." He sighed and sat up.

"I'm sorry. If we wanted to stay the weekend, I'm sure she would cook then?" suggested Puck. "If you don't want to though, we don't have too."

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. I'll have to see how Dad takes the news. I am afraid what it will do to his heart." He worried his lower lip. "If it doesn't do him good, I'll have to stay."

"You'll do what you have to do," assured Puck.

"I wouldn't want you to leave me though, Noah," panicked Kurt. "You could stay with us. Dad and Carole won't care." His hand immediately went to Puck's and grasped it tightly. He looked at his companion with sad eyes. "I haven't told you all of it."

Puck nodded. "I suspected that."

"I didn't lie to you though. All of what I've told you is true," assured Kurt. "I would like you to be there tonight too. When I tell Dad. Keep me grounded, so to speak."

Puck squeezed Kurt's hand. "I can do that for you. You should know that by now."

Kurt let out a short laugh. "I'm just waiting for you to get tired of me. It's bound to happen at some point, right?"

Puck grasped Kurt's shoulders. "I couldn't do that to you, Kurt. Honestly."

"Boys! We are leaving in five!" called Carole.

Kurt shook Puck's hands from his shoulders. "We'll be right up!" he called up. He turned to Puck. "Let's go. We'll talk later?" At Puck's nod, he stood up and walked up the stairs.

"You boys get settled?" asked Carole.

Puck and Kurt nodded in unison. "I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed," said Kurt.

Carole smiled. "Let's cut Finn off before he hits the house. We're meeting Burt there." She smiled and opened the door to a very surprised Finn.

"Whose truck is in the driveway? It looks just like Puck's?" asked Finn dazedly. He then saw the faces behind Carole. "What? Who? Why? Huh?" he stammered.

"Oh shut up, Finn. We're going to dinner. Come on. You'll get why later," chided Kurt. He marched out the door first, Carole trailing.

**A/N: SO. Next chapter is Kurt's entire story. We'll actually find out what happened. If you have any thoughts or ideas, shoot them at me! I'm still figuring out what all happens. I have bits and pieces, but not all of it. (: Also, reviews are great. (: **


	10. Kiss With A Fist

**A/N: Sorry, this one is late once more. Life is giving me curveballs. I am busy as heck to top it off. I'm trying to get them off as fast as I can. I did this chapter like I did Chapter Two. It's told from Kurt's point of view. I felt like you needed more of the raw emotion from the man himself, not second hand from Puck. Though, I expect you will get some of his as well. Once again, I don't own Glee. Or Florence. **

_You hit me once, I hit you back  
>You gave a kick, I gave a slap<br>You smashed a plate over my head  
>Then I set fire to our bed<br>_-_Kiss With A Fist_ by Florence + the Machine

Laughter filled the halls of the Hummel-Hudson house as the party of five walked through the front door. They gradually moved into the front room and sat on the scattered furniture, Carole and Burt in the chairs, Kurt and Finn on the couch, and Puck on the floor between them.

"Kurt, how was your few days abroad?" asked Finn.

Kurt laughed. "You say that like I was in Britain or something." He sobered swiftly though. He pressed his leg closer too Puck, like he was trying to draw strength from him.

"Kurt, I don't want to pressure you, but what happened?" pushed Burt. His eyebrows were pressed together in concern.

Kurt took a deep breath. "It isn't all that great of a story. It's bound to end in disappointment." He felt Puck rub his foot soothingly. "It is something that needs to be said though." He fixed his seating so that he was more comfortable. He wished it was Puck sitting next to him, but he couldn't have everything. He didn't deserve everything.

Puck shifted so that he was sitting between Kurt's legs, hoping to give him as much comfort as he could give. Kurt's hands found their way to his shoulders, squeezing them gently.

Kurt looked at his lap as he spoke. "I am not proud of what happened. It isn't sweet and fluffy. Here it is anyway.

"Blaine began to blackmail me the more we went for coffee. He would say that if I didn't go out with him today, he would tell Noah that we had been making out for the last two weeks. We hadn't been, but I didn't want to hurt Noah, so I went along with it. At the time, they were just harmless coffee dates. He eventually started to kiss me here and there; never lingering, just enough to make me want to skip my date with Noah that day. I would though; I valued my time with Noah. He is one of the few people that could make me happy, just being around them.

"He began to get worse. He wouldn't stop kissing me until I responded. If I didn't respond, he threatened to tell Noah we were fucking. I couldn't have that. I had to go along with it, so I thought. It went on for weeks. The one day he went further, Noah caught me. He could smell Blaine's cologne on me. I could, why couldn't' he? He accused me of cheating, which, in a way I was. I was conned into it at the beginning. It pained me to see the hurt in his eyes. I couldn't do anything to solve it though, so I let him go after a week.

"After Noah left, Blaine claimed me. He preached that Noah wasn't good enough for me. He left me, but Blaine never would. Blaine would be everything I could ever dream of. He never was. He tried to be kind, but it never won me over."

At this point, Kurt was shaking with sorrow, and the beginnings of fear. A few tears danced gently down his face, making vivid trails behind them. He knew what was coming, and he didn't want to say it out loud. He didn't want to come off as a cheap class whore.

"It quickly turned into a physical relationship. I loved the fact that Noah never pushed me. He never tried to get me to do anything I didn't want to, despite his reputation. I was the one who felt like I was pushing the other one. Blaine would blackmail me into doing.. things." A sob bubbled up his throat, but didn't make it out of his lips. "He would tell me that if I didn't do this, he would tell Noah that I never loved him, that I was only in it for the sex." A harsh laugh escaped his lips. "Not that we were. Obviously Blaine didn't know that though.

"It went on for months. I eventually tried to resist, I finally tried to break it off. I wanted to be able to talk to Noah again, but he wouldn't have me. He started to push me around and talk down to me. That was worse than the blackmail." Kurt had tears streaming down his face now. Puck wasn't looking at him, and it made Kurt feel like a piece of shit. He knew it would make Noah look at him differently. The only thing that kept that whisper of hope in the back of his mind was the fact he was stroking Kurt's legs gently. "He would push and push until I did what he wanted.

"Three days ago, I told him I had to run back to my locker for my French. He said he'd meet me at my car, and to hurry. I ran back to my locker and ran into Noah on my way there. I stopped him and was going to tell him, but he walked away. I went back to Blaine. That was the day that it got worse.

"We got back to Blaine's house and he pushed the homework aside, said something about how he had something else on his mind. He tried," Kurt had a sob rip through his chest and out of his lips. Puck's hands tightened on his lower shins, startling Kurt. Kurt's hands tightened on his shoulders in response, attempting to comfort his best friend. "He tried to make me sleep with him. I said no, many times. He kept trying. He pulled at my vest, trying to rid me of it, and I pulled it back on and repeated my response more firmly. That was when he hit me. He flat out hit me." His hand moved up to the place where there once was an angry handprint unconsciously. "I think it bruised slightly. I ran. I grabbed my bag and ran. I came here and grabbed clothes to last me a week. I then ran to Noah's."

Kurt took a giant breath, fighting more sobs. He kept his hands on Puck's shoulders and looked up to the faces of his family. Carole had tears streaming down her face, as well as Burt surprisingly. Finn was stonily silent next to him. He couldn't see Puck's face at all.

"Why didn't you come see me?" asked Burt, stonily calm. It reminded Kurt of the calm before the storm. It sent shivers down his spine.

"I couldn't face you. I was ashamed of what I'd done to Noah, and what I'd allowed Blaine to do to me," explained Kurt.

"I have been seeing him at school for the last week, and he has said nothing to me about this? Not a drop of concern of your whereabouts to me, your brother?" fumed Finn. "That-"

"Finn," chided Carole. "Calm down. We'll deal with Blaine later." She stood and Puck moved away from Kurt's feet as she knelt between them. "Kurt, I'm so proud of you for telling us. It takes courage to do that, to leave him." She kissed his forehead as she stood. "Thank you for keeping my boy safe," she whispered to Puck as she walked by.

Puck kept his face down, and it disturbed Kurt to not see it. He was Kurt's reason for being here at all. He was the thing that was keeping him grounded. He wanted to walk up to him and see what was brewing in his brown eyes. He wiped the tears from his own face and stood. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go to bed. It's been a taxing day for me, and I'm tired. I love you all; I will see you in the morning." He had hoped Puck had caught the message in that, but he wasn't sure. He hadn't seen him this withdrawn before.

Kurt walked down the stairs to his room and collapsed in a chair in the corner. He pulled his legs up to his chest and cried. He cried for the second time since the whole deal started. He let the sobs wreck his chest. He cried for the fact he broke Puck's heart in pieces. He cried for being used as a cheap class whore. He cried for the looks on his family's faces as he told his tale. He cried for the silence Puck gave him. He cried for the fact he was alone in his bedroom, and would remain so for the night. He cried for an entire hour before he stood and readied for bed. He wasn't seeing, he was just moving on autopilot. He changed out of his shirt and pants, and just crawled into bed in his boxers.

**A/N: So. What do you think? Can I tell you how hard it is to make Blaine the bad guy when I love him so? I can only think that at least this Blaine transferred without knowing Kurt first. That's the only thing that's keeping me from making him a good guy. Ha. What do you think Puck's reaction to it is? Why wouldn't he let Kurt see his face? Will he really spend the night alone in his nightmares? **


	11. Hardest Part

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I was doing Script Frenzy, and then I got super busy, and now graduation is just around the corner. It has been crazy busy. However, I am back, hopefully. I think I will be raising the rating soon. Just for language right now. Maybe for more…things later. I don't know where this is even going. Ha. Once again, if I owned Glee, it would be a very different show. I also don't own Coldplay. I just love them a lot. (:**

_I could feel it go down  
>You left the sweetest taste in my mouth<br>The silver lining the clouds  
>Oh and I, oh and I<br>I wonder what it's all about  
>I wonder what it's all about<br>-Hardest Part_ by Coldplay

Puck waited until Kurt retreated to the stairs before he moved. He kept his face down though; he didn't want anyone, not to mention Finn, to see the tears streaming down his face or the hard look in his eyes. He moved toward the front door stiffly. He was going to go talk to Blaine, and give the sick bastard a piece of his mind. A hand caught his arm when he got there though.

"Puck," said Carole softly. "Stop. Do you want him to know you two are back? Do you think Kurt would want you to do this?"

He looked up to the mother figure in his life. "I can't let him do that and get away with that," he said coldly.

"He won't," assured Carole. "Come sit with me?" She wiped at the tears on his face softly.

He simply nodded. He followed her to the back of the house and sat on the porch swing. He put his face in his hands. "Who will get to him? Finn?" A harsh laugh escaped him. "He'll do nothing but yell at him."

"You will get him," laughed Carole. "I know you will go get him whether I try to stop you or not."

"Then why did you try?"

"I didn't want you to do something you would regret," she replied. She rubbed Puck's back soothingly, like she did when he was younger. "Blaine isn't the one who needs you now though."

"Kurt doesn't need me."

"I think he does. He came to you, didn't he? He came to you long before he came to his father. I'm not saying he doesn't need Burt, because he does." She paused, letting the words sink in. "Go down there. Don't let him wallow in misery. He doesn't need that on top of it all."

Puck nodded. "Mr. Hummel will let me stay down there?"

Carole shrugged. "I don't know that yet. He isn't as blind as you or Kurt appear to be. I will talk to him though. Go," she urged with a push to his back.

"Thank you, Mrs. H." He turned and pulled her into a tight hug. "For everything."

He then got up and walked back into the house. He made his way blindly to the stairs. He closed the door behind him quietly, not wanting to disturb Kurt. What he did hear was heartbreaking. From the top of the stairs, he heard the sobs that were tearing his best friend apart. He had to sit down to keep himself from running to him. He felt his own tears fall down his face at the pain in Kurt's voice. He sat there for the better part of forty-five minutes, as the sobbing disappeared into quiet whimpers.

He stood and made his way down the stairs. What he saw pierced through him. Never, in his short time of being so close to Kurt, had he seen him simply strip and crawl into bed. He wiped at the tears on his face and followed suit, shucking his pants. He let them fall with a whisper to the ground, but kept his shirt on; he didn't want Mr. Hummel to have his head, or balls. He crawled into bed next to Kurt and pulled the smaller boy toward him.

"Noah?" whispered Kurt in the darkness. His hands came up and wrapped themselves around Puck's forearm around him. "You're here?"

Puck smiled slightly at the awe in Kurt's voice. "Yeah, where else would I be?"

He could feel Kurt's shrug. "I didn't know. You scared me. You didn't say a word to me, you didn't acknowledge me. I was afraid you were just going to leave." His voice was very small, and it scared Puck.

"I was," he admitted. Kurt stiffened and he rubbed his Kurt's arm softly with his thumb. "I wasn't going permanently," he corrected. "I was going to talk to Anderson."

"And say what? 'Leave Kurt alone?' I have done that much on my own," snapped Kurt.

The shortness in his temper didn't bother Puck. He knew his fuse was a lot shorter when he was hurt, usually. This time was an exception; he didn't seem to have a fuse this time around. "No. That wasn't what I was going to say. It would have been much more… physical. He needs a taste of what he dished out."

Kurt moved around in Puck's grasp until he was facing the jock. "Why didn't you?"

"Mrs. H. stopped me. She told me something that hit me, so I didn't."

"What did she say?"

Puck bit his lip. He wasn't sure if he wanted to share it. He didn't want to ruin the fragile friendship they had built back up over the course of a week. "She said that you were more important than Blaine." He wasn't strictly lying, but it wasn't exactly what she said, either.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you're here." Kurt snuggled further into Puck's chest.

Puck wrapped his arm tighter around the small boy. "I am too," he whispered into his hair. "You have no idea."

"I think I am starting too," murmured Kurt.

"What do you mean by that?"

Silence came from Kurt. Puck assumed he was asleep. He pulled Kurt closer to him and let himself fall into the oblivion called sleep.

Puck woke almost violently moments later to a soft hand on his shoulder. "What is it?" he whispered harshly.

"Calm down, don't wake Kurt," soothed Carole. "I came down to tell you that Burt is okay with you down here, as long as you two don't share a bed." She let out a soft laugh. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Puck smiled and was grateful that she wouldn't rat him out for it. "Thanks, Mrs. H."

"Breakfast will be ready when you two are awake, whenever that may be. Don't worry about setting an alarm or anything. Burt wants to keep Kurt around as long as possible after hearing that." Carole frowned. "Goodnight Puck."

"Goodnight, Mrs. H." He nestled Kurt back into his arms comfortably and began to slow his rapid heartbeat.

"You know, you didn't have to frighten both of us when Carole came down," murmured Kurt into his chest.

"Sorry," he said immediately. "I didn't mean to."

Silent laughter rumbled out of Kurt. "I know you didn't. I wasn't asleep anyway," he admitted.

"Obviously, I was," laughed Puck.

"Can I ask you a question?" asked Kurt quietly. He shifted so he was looking at Puck's face.

Puck nodded.

Kurt bit his lip softly. "What did you mean earlier? When you said that I have no idea."

Puck bit his lip. "What do you mean by that?" he stalled. He didn't really want to give everything away.

"I am just curious. That is a vague thing to say."

"You agreed with me, Kurt. Maybe I should be asking you that." He looked down at his companion.

"I think that," Kurt paused and bit his lip again. Puck wanted to kiss him when he did that, but he refrained. "I think I was dumb to let Blaine blackmail me into that whole deal. I should have known you wouldn't have believed it, in the beginning. You never did like him; I passed it off as jealousy. I should have thought better, you haven't ever liked someone for the hell of it." Kurt moved so he was sitting up; Puck missed the warmth, but sat up as well. "In the last little bit, I have realized that you never did leave me. You really did mean what you said all those months ago, in your room." A tear escaped Kurt's eye at the words. "I am so sorry, Noah." He brought his eyes up to look at Puck, only to find him looking at the bed sheets.

Puck inhaled deeply and willed the tears away from his eyes for the second time that evening. He honestly didn't think Kurt could make him cry anymore, but he kept getting proved wrong time and time again the more he was around him. He swallowed his tears and looked up at the boy that was so connected in his life, it scared him sometimes. "I forgive you, Kurt. You know that. I forgave you months ago." His voice cracked and he hated himself for it.

"I- Thank you." Kurt reached across the bed and hugged Puck tightly. Puck returned the favor, hugging his boy tight enough to keep him there, but not to hurt him. As he pulled away, Kurt kisses his cheek softly.

"What was that for?" asked Puck quietly.

Kurt took a deep breath. "I mentioned that there is another boy I liked the other day." He paused, gauging Puck's reaction and he winced at the hardening in his eyes. "It isn't what you think it is, I promise."

Puck looked at him. "Really? Then what could it possibly be? Because, I am confused." He knew he was being harsh, but how could Kurt be so insensitive?

"What do you mean? I couldn't have met anyone up there, Noah. I was with you the entire time," Kurt snapped back. "Honestly, how many guys from Lima are there as well? Shall I count them for you?"

"No. You don't." Puck sighed. "Look, I can't talk about this guy. I am physically tired and emotionally drained. Good night, Kurt." He moved to lie back down but yet another hand on his shoulder stopped him. "What, Kurt?" he sighed, looking at the smaller boy. He was surprised to find him so close.

"Noah," Kurt breathed, "Don't do this, please," he plead.

Puck was surprised at the sincerity in his eyes. He was startled when Kurt embraced him again.

"Noah, he is you, can't you see that?" Kurt murmured in Puck's ear. "It never stopped being you."

**A/N: Dun. Dun. Dun. Okay… Not really. (: **


	12. Finale

**A/N: So, here is twelve in quick succession. I will have thirteen in the works soon. (: Typing this up, it has appeared to me that Noah is a little OOC but… I think that it would be to begin with, with the relationship between them. Not that anyone has complained… with the lack of reviews… Anyway, I don't own Glee, though if Chris Colfer was to appear at my door, I would be a happy, happy, girl. What I would do to spend a day with that wonderful man. I also don't own Team Starkid, though I do own a t-shirt and sunglasses from them… **

_Even though I felt it from the start  
>It's only now we're beating with one heart<br>I feel like, the sun is starting to shine  
>'Cause I know that I'm<br>Coming around..  
><em>- _Finale_ by Team Starkid (From Me and My Dick)

Puck moved sharply away. He looked at Kurt incredulously. "What are you talking about?" he breathed. There was surprise, hurt, and confusion swimming in Kurt's eyes, as well as his own, he was sure.

"Noah, really?"

Puck could only nod. He was speechless, and that hadn't happened all that many times before. He could probably count the total amount of times that had happened on one hand. "I," was all he could manage to get out.

"You seriously thought there was someone else?" At Puck's nod, Kurt continued. "Who would it have been? Dave? Some closeted jock?"

Puck could only shake his head. "I don't know who it could have been. I just knew it couldn't have been me." He looked down at his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry you felt like that," Kurt bit his lip again. "I'm sorry I used you the way I did." Sorrow was laced in his voice.

Puck looked sharply up. "Used me?"

Kurt chewed on his lip, and Puck used a lot of power to keep himself contained. "I knew you would help me, even though I treated you like shit. I could almost sense three days ago that you still hadn't gotten over me. I knew you would do whatever you could in your power to make me happy." Tears were welling up in his eyes at his words.

Puck reached across the bed to wipe away the tear that escaped his eye. "I," he paused not sure if he should continue. He decided to hell with it. Kurt was bearing his heart to him, why not do the same. "I never stopped loving you, Kurt Hummel. Just because I thought Anderson took you away from me, I thought you would be happier with a boy who hadn't tormented you only a few years ago. I meant what I said all those months ago, more than I ever had before. I still do."

Kurt's eyes glistened with tears. He looked down at his hands. "I don't deserve that. I doubted you, Noah. I feel terrible for it. I don't deserve that, or you. Maybe I should just go,"

"No," he cut off. He moved his hands onto Kurt's shoulders and held him there. "Kurt, look at me, please." He waited until the smaller boy acted upon the request. "If you don't want me that is fine, I will leave. We both know I can do that. However, if that is what you want, promise me that you won't return to Anderson. He is nothing but a sick fuck that gets pleasure out of hurting others." He wiped away the tears that were managing to escape the blue-green eyes.

"I wouldn't go back to Blaine. I never wanted Blaine. You know that now. I don't want you to leave me." A soft sob rippled up his spine and out his lips. "Don't leave me, Noah. Protect me. Keep him away from me." The smaller boy began to go into hysterics, concerning Puck.

He moved over the bed and pulled the small boy into his lap. "Shhhh," he soothed. "I won't leave you. I promise." He kissed the top of his head softly, holding him tightly. He didn't even notice that boxers were all Kurt was wearing. They sat like that for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only ten minutes.

"Thank you," whispered Kurt. He placed another kiss on Puck's chest, and moved away. "Can I sleep now?"

Puck laughed softly. "Yes, only if you let me sleep as well."

"Only if you hold me," Kurt hiccupped. "Don't let him get me, okay?"

It pained Puck that Kurt was acting so childish, but with something like this, one would take several steps back. "He won't get you again, I promise." Puck tucked back under the sheets, but held his arms open for Kurt to snuggle into. He smiled when he did, and wrapped his arms around Kurt, securing him to his chest. "I won't let you go," he murmured into Kurt's hair.

"I'm counting on that," Kurt whispered sleepily. He quickly dozed off into that which is sleep.

Puck didn't sleep for a while. He sat there and absorbed what he had learned in the last little bit. He really couldn't believe what had gone down in the last few days. His heart had shattered again, but now it is slowly mending, all within two days. He was awestruck at how this had happened. With that final thought, he fell into oblivion.

Puck woke up to Kurt sprawled on top of him. Their legs were entwined, and Kurt's head was resting quite comfortably on his chest. Puck smiled sleepily as he looked at the clock on the table. 5:30 it read. He let himself relax back into the bed and he wraps his arms around Kurt loosely. He was almost asleep again when he felt Kurt shift on top of him.

Kurt groaned softly and snuggled himself further into Puck. Moments later he stiffened. "Noah?"

"What? I'm trying to sleep," he murmured.

"I'm sorry." Kurt attempted to make his way off of Puck, but his arms were wrapped around his torso. "Noah, let me go."

"Why?" He opened his eyes and was surprised to find Kurt's clouded with worry. "What's wrong with this?"

"I am, um, on top of you?"

Puck laughed. "I know."

"I want to be on the bed," said Kurt shakily.

"Do you really?" Puck teased. "Or do you think you are making me uncomfortable?"

"Both," he squeaked.

Puck laughed quietly. "Well, I don't know. Your shirtless state is bothering me greatly." To emphasize his point, he ran his fingers up and down Kurt's back softly.

"Then let me go pull a shirt on, please?" plead Kurt. "I don't want to make you any more uncomfortable than you already are." Kurt pulled his lip in-between his teeth, worrying it softly.

"If you really want to stop making me uncomfortable, you have to stop doing that." Puck moved his finger up to Kurt's lips. "Or, you can keep doing that, and I'll end up kissing you. However, I don't think either of us are at that point yet."

Kurt immediately released his lip. "Sorry. Really though, let me go pull on a shirt."

"Nope. You will stay right here. It hasn't bothered me all night, why would it start now?"

Kurt's cheeks flushed and he looked down.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," Kurt murmured. "I'm just going to go back to sleep if you don't mind."

It suddenly dawned on Puck and he couldn't help but laugh, deep chest heaving laughter. He struggled to keep it quiet. "Really, Kurt?"

"What? I just want to sleep!"

"No. Before that. You're afraid you'll meet Puckzilla in the morning, aren't you?" Puck was still laughing and Kurt was flushing a shade of read that went down the back of his neck.

"No, of course not," he protested weakly. "Just let me sleep, will you?"

"Or, you're afraid I'll meet your little friend. Either way, the situation is equally as funny."

"He isn't that little, Noah," Kurt protested, looking at him sharply.

"Oh, I know," he teased back. "It's fine, Kurt. Trust me. Just go to sleep. I'm tired."

"Fine. Goodnight, Noah." Kurt placed his head back on Puck's chest and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, Kurt." Puck kissed the top of Kurt's head and wrapped his arms tighter around his torso. He quickly fell into oblivion.

Puck awoke hours later with a gasp. His eyes were wide and terrified, but immediately calmed down as to not wake the sleeping man in his arms. He attempted to calm his thrashing heart, but it was in vain. Sweat had broken out on his brow and tears had begun to escape his eyes. The thought of losing Kurt last night had knocked him into a terrible nightmare. He had watched Blaine beat Kurt repeatedly until he passed out from the pain. He had tried to get to him, but a wall of glass had separated them.

"Noah?" Kurt whispered.

"Go back to sleep, Kurt. I'm sorry I woke you," apologized Puck.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Not a clue, why?"

"I don't want Carole to have to hold Dad off for too long. After so long, he'll come down here, I'm sure."

"I'm sorry. I can move to the couch." Puck released his hold on Kurt and began to sit up when Kurt's hand stopped him.

"No. There's no need. We are clothed, he shouldn't care."

"Correction, I have a shirt on, you have nothing but your boxers."

Kurt flushed a lovely shade of red. "I can change that."

"No need." Puck settled back in the bed and settled his hands under his head facing Kurt. "Only if you wish too. I don't think Mr. Hummel will mind."

Kurt laughed and settled back down. "Oh, he would." Kurt pulls the cover up over his shoulders and cuddles into his pillow. "This will work." He traced his finger across the end of the blanket. "Noah," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What do we do from here?" Kurt's voice was quiet and unnervingly smooth.

"Here being what?"

"Can we still go too Indianapolis? Or should we stay here?"

"Whatever you need to do. That hasn't changed, Kurt."

"I don't know what I want, Noah. I want to stay here with Dad and Carole. I want to run away with you and not come back. I just want.. I want to be free from everything, Noah," he whispered almost inaudibly. He closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening to escape.

Puck swallowed the heart in his throat. Kurt wants to run away with him? Puck wasn't anything special. He was shocked into silence, so all he could do was pull him into a tight embrace. As soon as his arms wrapped around him, Kurt began to cry again. It pained Puck to see his boy break down, but he held him regardless. He held him for several minutes until he calmed down. "It's going to be okay, Kurt. I promise," he whispered.

"Thank you, Noah," he whispered into his chest. "I needed that." He looked up at Puck. "Can we," he hesitated and bit his lip.

"Can we what?" urged Puck.

"Can we continue onto the house? I just want away."

"Sure, of course. First, we have to get up though," he teased.

"Well, I can do that," replied Kurt.

"Not right now. I enjoy my personal Hummel time, thanks," smiled Puck.

**A/N II: I think I will end it here. I have run out of steam with this story, and songs… haha. (: Maybe, with enough reviews, and ideas, I will continue, but for right now. I am ending this here. (: I hope you enjoyed this! **


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